


When you and your girlfriend live on a sea fort to hide from student loans

by versti_fantur



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Crack, F/F, Lesbian AU, Sea Forts, Theyre gay and on a sea fort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:41:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24776323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/versti_fantur/pseuds/versti_fantur
Summary: Theyre gay, and Crystal bought a sea fort with her student loan. But what will happen when student loans finally comes for our star crossed lovers?
Relationships: Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd
Comments: 11
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the product of a couple of breakdowns and farrrrr too much time researching whether or not i can afford a sea fort. (spoilers, I cannot)

“Girl, remind me why we’re on a sea fort?” Gigi leant out of the stone window with no glass and exhaled, the blunt in her hands dancing in the air as she spoke.

“Because sea forts are cool as hell, next question.” Crystal replied, leaning out of the same window, staring out over the ocean, and wondering if she’d die of she jumped out. Probably not. Plus it’d be fun, if the sea wasn’t too cold. Who was she kidding, it was February, so obviously it would be fucking freezing.

“Fine, why are we _still_ on a sea fort?” Gigi rolled her eyes, giggling.

“Student loans.”

“What?”

“I took out student loans to buy this place—sea forts aren’t cheap! Then I moved here and dropped off the grid, never paid the loans back. Sooo… Technically I can never leave.” She grabbed the joint from Gigi and took a drag, letting her head rest against the cool stone, the spray from the waves hitting the sea fort covering them in sea water. 

“Why not?” Gigi leant further over the edge, looking down into the dark ocean below.

“’Cause I’ll be arrested for fraud or something,” she laughed, blowing smoke into Gigi’s face playfully, “At least here, student loans can’t get me!”

A strange look clouded Gigi’s face as she looked out towards the horizon, unsure if what she was seeing was real, or just a side effect of the weed.

“Crystal…” She said slowly, pointing out over the ocean, to where a dark shape could be seen ploughing through the waves at unnatural speeds. “What’s that?”

Crystal narrowed her eyes, staring intently at the shape, as a set of large black sails emerged into view, followed by the rest of a dark brown ship. A galleon, if you will. Exhaling deeply, she stepped backwards, looking Gigi right in the eye as she said, darkly:

“Student loans.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> itz chapter two bitchesss aaaaaa theres a real sea fort for sale near wales for £150K anyone wanna buy it w/ me? sksksksks

As soon as Crystal said those fateful words, Gigi’s heart sank. Unfortunately, the student loans pirate ship did not. Before she could respond, Crystal had started running down the hallway, the blunt discarded on the floor.

“Come on!” Crystal called out, spurring Gigi into action. “Follow me!” 

They sprinted along the corridors, and up a spiralling staircase, and onto an identical corridor, only slightly higher than the last one, and with large cannons pointed out of every window. 

“C’mon Geege!!” Crystal yelled again, dragging her over to a cannon with an expression somewhere between terror and utter unbridled glee. She shoved a cannonball into Gigi’s hands, indicating she should push it into the barrel. Hesitantly, she did, and Crystal struck a comically large match, the fire illuminating the hallway as she leaned out to hold it in front of the cannon’s gaping maw. 

Both of them jumped backwards as the cannon went BOOM, and smoke wafted out over the sea. Faintly they heard a thud as the cannonball hit its target, followed by the enraged screaming of a hundred corporate goons baying for their blood. And their student loans.

“Do it again!” Crystal cried, and Gigi smiled grimly, hauling another cannonball into the barrel. Crystal poured some alcohol inside, and this time as she set it alight, the ball burned with the fire of an angry god, bright yellow against the cloudless blue sky. It tore a cannonball sized hole in the student loans’ ship’s sails, and before they could blink, it was on fire too.

“Wow.”

Suddenly, the walls around them shook, brick crumbling.

“Shit, they’re firing back!” Crystal swore as another cannonball hit the outside wall, scrambling to send another projectile before they were hit again.

BOOM!

This time, the ship’s bow buckled, split open and flooded with water. They could hear the student loans people crying for help, for interest, but they ignored it, Gigi enveloping Crystal in a hug.

“We did it babe! We’re safe!” Gigi smiled widely, but Crystal shook her head, still frowning. Pulling away, she leant against the window ledge, the stone cold under her palms.

“No. They’ll be back.” She said, with all the gravity of a wizened old sailor. “Student loans always come back.”

As Rhythm of the Night by El DeBarge played softly in the background, Gigi put her arm around Crystal’s waist, resting her head on her shoulder. Together, they watched the ocean—calm again, without so much of a trace of the sunken ship—and hoped for the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaaaaa ily all! <3

**Author's Note:**

> asdfghjkl;


End file.
